Title: Confession is good for the Mind?
Author/pseudonym: Sandra Lee
Email address: ssfdu@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Pairings: A/X

Date: 26/02/01
Archive: Please ask first.
Series/Sequel: Sequel to Confession is good for the Soul.
Other website: http://ssfdu.tripod.com

Disclaimers: Not mine, if they were, Xander would only be allowed to wear leather, silk or nothing.

Notes: Lines contained in []denotes conversation on the other end of the phone.

Thanks to: Kay – you rock completely, Karen - No doyle but one day...
And to everyone who sent feedback on the first one – Thanks. And to those who demanded, umm I mean asked for a sequel, this ones for you.

Summary: The continuing saga of my Valentines Day Letter fic. Angel calls to ask Xander about *that* letter.

Warnings: Innuendo =) Oh and as you might guess, apparently there will be more <groan>


The phone ringing startled the man half under the bed so much that he jumped, banging his head on the metal frame above him.

Grumbling obscenities, he wiggled his way out and went for the phone, rubbing at the sore spot.


[“Xander? It’s Angel...”]

“A...Angel? Ummm, hi.”

Xander almost slapped himself for sounding like a nervous teenager with their first crush, even if that wasn’t that far from the truth.

After all, he had an image to uphold, cool, calm and surprisingly sophisticated, for Sunnydale anyway.... plus the fact his head already hurt enough.

[“I’m glad I caught you, I was afraid you would have left already.”]

Harris looked around at his almost empty basement. “Well if you had called about half a hour later I wouldn’t be here.”

[“Oh. Good. That you are still there and I didn’t call later I mean, not that you were leaving.”]

“Ummm...” He wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

[“I got your letter.”]


[“Oh? Don’t you have anything else to say about it?”]

“Would saying I was drunk make a difference?” He asked desperately.

[“Is that true?”] Came the strangely upset sounding voice over the line.

“No. I might have wished I was, but I wasn’t.”

[“Then no, it doesn’t.”]

“I might have been possessed, again. Maybe I should go see if the G-Man can check that out. Can’t have any nasty possessed people running around after all.”

A sigh. [“You thought I either wouldn’t call or you wouldn’t be there. Right?”]

A matching sigh. “Right.”

[“What are you so afraid of?”] Angel asked softly.

“Afraid? I’m not afraid of anything!” Xander blustered unconvincingly.

[“Not even of Buffy at a certain time of the month?”]

Xander gave a snort of laughter. “Well okay, maybe of that. Wait a minute! Deadboy you made a joke!”

[“It has been known to happen, I like to keep people on their toes.”] Was the dry response.


[“Am I making you uncomfortable? I’m not trying to.”]

“Yes. No,umm... maybe. Okay yes, but that’s my fault. I shouldn’t have written the stupid letter.”

[“Why not?”]

“Well at least you haven’t laughed yet, that’s something I guess.”

[“I wouldn’t have laughed.”]

“Yeah well, I know lots of people who would have.”

[“I’m not them.”]

“No, you’re a vampire with a soul. I can safely say you aren’t like anyone else I’ve know. Except when you were evil, now that behavior was kinda familiar.”

[“Familiar? What do you mean?”] Angel questioned sharply.

Ignoring him Xander asked, “So why did you really call?”

[“Umm...I thought we could talk.”]

“Yeah and like we are doing such a stunning job of that so far.” Xander retorted sarcastically.

[“Xander,”] A long suffering sigh followed his name.

“Oh and look something else familiar. I say something and everyone just rolls their eyes or sigh’s dramatically.”

[“That isn’t true.”]

“Isn’t it?”

Another sigh.

[“Can’t we at least try to talk, calmly like two mature people? And no I didn’t mean that to say you were being immature.”]

That got him a small wry chuckle. “You know me too well, Deadboy.”

[“No, I don’t. But I think I’d like to.”]

“Really?” Xander asked uncertainly.

[“Yes.”] No hesitation.


[“Are we back to that again are we?”] The vampire’s tone was gently amused.

“I don’t know what to say.”

[“Say you’ll come to LA. You were going to leave Sunnydale anyway so come here. If it doesn’t work, you can keep going but at least give me a chance.”]

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”


A pause.


“I’m not good with this stuff, relationships... friendships or otherwise. You mean you haven’t noticed? Better to leave things as they are, I leave, everyone eventually forgets about me, life goes on.”


“What do you mean no?” Incredulous reply.

[“They won’t forget about you, I won’t forget about you. And do you really think relationships are easy? They aren’t. Remember I’ve been around a lot longer to mess them up.”]

“They forget about me while I’m here, they don’t need me, I don’t fit in with the whole College cool thing they have going.”

[“I don’t believe that...”]

Xander interrupted him. “Not fitting in with the College cool bit?” He mocked himself.

[“No, that they don’t need you. Just because you no longer live in each other’s pockets doesn’t mean they no longer care.”]

“Yes O’Wise one.”

[“Xander! What am I going to do with you?”] Came the exhasperated response.

“I can think of a few things, but I’m not that lucky.” Harris mumbled.

[“What was that?”]

“Nothing, nothing at all.” He said quickly.

[“Come to LA, give us a chance to talk and we won’t have to discuss that I have really good hearing, for now anyway.”]

Xander gulped audibly.

“Why? What will talking do, except prove one and for all how stupid I am.”

[“Oh Xander, that won’t happen, all I’m asking for is a chance to talk, I’ll even send Cordy out for coffee so we don’t get poisoned accidentally.”]

A muffled laugh. “Hey! I thought we were going the serious route here.”

[“Like I said, keeps people on their toes.”]

“You’re too much sometimes Deadboy.”

[“I hope not.”] And then without missing a beat. [“Come to LA.”]

Xander sighed. “This is a seriously bad idea.”



[“If you make me say pretty please with a cherry on top I will hunt you down Harris.”]

Another laugh. “You just did.”

[“Xander, please come to LA.”]

Xander looked around his empty basement, chewing his bottom lip thoughtfully. He really didn’t have anything to lose, and perhaps he had something to gain. Besides he was planning to head that way anyway, well that’s what he told himself.


[“Really? Okay great!”] He sounded suddenly enthusiatic, in a decided non-Angel way.

“I just have to get a few last things packed. Are you sure?” He had to ask one last time.

[“Positive. So you’ll be here in a couple of hours then?”]

“Yep, depending on traffic etc.”

[“Well I’ll see you then.”]

Did Angel really sound nervous?

“Sure, in a couple of hours.”

Well if Angel didn’t, he certainly did.

[“See you soon Xander, I’ll be waiting.”]

He cleared his suddenly tight throat.”

“Bye, Angel. I’ll see you soon.”


The click of the phone disconnecting was harsh in the sudden quiet.

Xander put the phone down and ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

“What the hell am I doing?”

There was no answer, but he didn’t expect on.

Grabbing his last few bags, he gave his room one last look before heading for the door.

He had nothing to lose? Right?

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