Title:  Uncommon Distractions
Author:  Kay
Email:  kaygrr@hotmail.com
Feedback:  Please?  Because watching a grown girl cry is just pathetic.
Website:  ssfdu.tripod.com/kay/journal.htm (love for Sandy) Archive:  Just
let me know, eh? Fandom:  Buffy Pairing:  (Xander/Graham) + (Xander/Spike)
= Xander/Graham/Spike Rating:  PG-13 Disclaimer:  Mine?  What? *These*? 
No, they're Mutant Enemy's.  They just followed me home and wouldn't leave
until I played with them. Spoilers:  The last season of Buffy.  The
incident with Glory, and the ep "The Body".  (Look at me, trying to be
vague).  And that ugly rumor about Spike and a certain blond slayer? 
Never happened. Summery:  Graham and Riley are called back to Sunnydale
when the area destabilizes.  When they return, they discover there are new
factors in lives of the Scooby Gang, especially in Xander and Spike's.

Part 21/24

Xander came awake slowly, his first thought relief that he was finally
waking up without pain.  If that was getting to be a highlight for him, he
really had to look into changing his lifestyle.  As awareness returned to
him fully, he realized that he wasn't alone in bed.  He opened his eyes
but otherwise remained motionless.  He smiled as he took in the sight of
Graham lying sprawled over his chest.  The soldier was still sleep, his
face nestled on Xander's shoulder and his arms wrapped loosely around him.
 Xander moved his shoulder a little.  It felt damp.  With a grin, he
realized that Graham had drooled on him.

The grin faded as he had more time to think.  Graham was in bed with him. 
He could remember agreeing to let Spike and Graham stay.  He remembered
Graham's idea about the Cynon being responsible for his fear of a
relationship them.  He wanted to believe that:  it would be nice if the
fear that filled him would just disappear.  He could still feel the terror
of rejection running through him.  He wanted to think that it was weaker
than it had been yesterday, but that could just be his own hopes
influencing his perception.

Graham nuzzled his shoulder and tightened his embrace, protective and
wanting, even in sleep.  Xander concentrated on the heat and weight of the
other man for a moment, taking comfort in the sensation of being held. 
Maybe if he couldn't trust himself, he could trust Graham and Spike. 
Speaking of Spike...Xander craned his neck one way and then another,
looking for the vampire.  When he looked over to the left, he found him. 
"Spike?" he whispered, confused.  Spike was sitting on the floor, staring
at him and Graham.

"What am I getting myself into?" Spike asked quietly.  "You and Graham. 
Human.  Limited."  He was holding himself very still and his gaze was
somber.

"What?"  Xander tried to turn so he could better see Spike.

"You humans think too much and half the time you're thinking wrong.  You
can't make rules for love.  Love can't be wrong or right.  It just is. 
There aren't limits on love:  not on who you love, not on how many you
love. 
  Love is love and you take all you can for as long as it lasts."  Spike
glanced at Graham's face and when he met Xander's gaze again the
seriousness had faded in his eyes, replaced by more familiar wicked
amusement.  "And of course there's the shagging.  You do that as often as
you can, too."

Xander smiled at Spike, feeling some of the negativity inside of him ebb
away.  How typical was this for his life:  a soulless vampire understood
love better than he did.  If he was going to trust Graham where the cause
for his emotions was concerned, he could trust Spike about what love could
and couldn't be.  He looked down at Graham, tentatively stroking his hand
over his back.  "What about Graham?"

"I do fancy him," Spike admitted.  "Always thought he was good looking." 
He knelt up beside the bed, putting his hand over Xander's.  "I like him,
luv.  There's a potential for more.  Both of us want to make a go of it;
we'll see what happens."

"You've got good taste," Xander said.  A devilish impulse made him say,
"Of course, you've always liked the tall, commanding type."  He snuck a
peek at Spike.

The vampire stared at him for a second, and then he was smiling in
sardonic acknowledgement.  "He's better looking than Angelus."  The smile
slid off his face.  "Xan, I love you.  Believe that.  I love you and so
does Graham and I want you to give us a chance to show you how good it can
be.  I swear to you that you won't get hurt.  If it means my unlife, I
won't let you be hurt."

As Spike finished speaking, Graham's arms tightened around Xander and the
soldier turned his head to look up at him.  He didn't say how long he'd
been awake.  He just held Xander's gaze and kissed him gently, then said,
"Spike said it all.  I want a chance from you.  Please, Xander.  I'll make
sure you never regret it for even a moment."

Xander stared at Graham and then Spike and then back to Graham again.  He
didn't know what the future was going to bring for them.  There was no way
he could know.  The best thing he could do was just live and love and hope
for the best.  If Spike and Graham both wanted to live and love with him,
then why should he do it alone?  Especially when he loved them both so
much?

"Yes," he said simply.

"Yes?" Graham said, hope flaring in his eyes.

"Yes," he repeated.  "Besides, I'm never really going to get rid of you
two, am I?"

"Never," Graham vowed, before claiming Xander's lips in another kiss.  It
was enthusiastic and rough and the only that made the ending of it
bearable was that Spike was there, mouth voracious and consuming.

This couldn't be wrong.  Not when every stroke of Graham's hands, every
brush of Spike's lips made him feel complete.  Made him feel like he'd
finally found home.  He smiled as Spike leaned back, arching up a little
to fully appreciate Graham's weight against him.  His eyes widened as
Graham angled his head to take Spike's mouth in a searing kiss.  He
shifted as he grew hard, thrusting up against Graham lightly in a search
for friction.

Graham broke away from the kiss with Spike to stare down at him.  "See
something you like?" he asked, grinning as he thrust back.

Xander nodded.  "You two together..." he let his voice trail away and
settled for thrusting up against Graham again.  "Do it again?" he asked.

"I don't know if I want to," Spike said petulantly.

Graham just laughed at him and grabbed a fistful of the vampire's shirt,
hauling him forward for another kiss.  Xander watched as they battled for
control, eyes closed in pure animal pleasure as they moved against each
other.  Graham continued to thrust against Xander, his rhythm gone and his
movements erratic.  That was fine; Xander could do the work himself, so
long as he got to watch.

Graham turned his head to the side and panted for breath.  He raised an
eyebrow as he met Xander's gaze.  "You're quite the voyeur, aren't you?"

Xander didn't bother to answer; he just thrust with increased urgency.

"Like to watch then, do you?" Spike asked with interest.

"Watching is good," Xander agreed.  He reached out and cupped his hand
around the back of Spike's neck and jerking him into a bruising kiss. 
Graham's hands and Spike's tongue and finally having made the decision to
trust in their love all combined, creating in Xander a sensation of
fulfillment that he'd never known before.  This was right; this was where
he wanted to be, where he needed to be.

The doorbell chimed.

Spike looked up disbelievingly.  "She already checked on you once!" he
protested.

They all froze and listened intently.  If it was Willow again, Xander was
going to have to kill her.  He loved her, but interrupting twice in one
day was going to far.  He didn't go over to the dorm and stop her and Tara
from...making spells, did he?

Muffled but clearly excited, Riley's voice came through the door. 
"Graham?  Guys, are you in there?"

Graham groaned and banged his forehead lightly against Xander's chest. 
"I'm going to kill him."

"Right after you open the door and find out what happened, right?" Xander
asked.  He smiled at Graham's surprise.  "Hey, I've got a best friend with
a rotten sense of timing, remember?"

"I have to talk to him," Graham said.  "He was going to see Buffy."

Spike swore under his breath, but he shoved himself to his feet.  "After
he's gone, I'm going to rip that fucking chime out of the wall."  He
pulled on his jeans, muttering to himself the whole time.

Graham got to his feet as well, searching for his pants.  After he pulled
them on, he deliberately stepped in front of Spike.  "Hey," he said. 
"I'll make it up to you."

Spike kissed him savagely.  "You bet your ass."

Xander sulked as he sat up.  "You're not going to make it up to me?"  He
was pulled to his feet with dizzying speed and Graham kissed him
breathless.

"It goes without saying," Graham said seriously.  "I've got a lot to make
up to you."  He licked delicately at Xander's lower lip, then pushed him
gently toward Spike.  "Get dressed."

Xander flipped him off, but he pulled on a pair of sweat pants.  He
followed Graham out of the bedroom, then Spike took his arm and dragged
him into the living room.  The vampire sat down on the couch and pulled
Xander down to sit beside him.  Xander flopped down, making sure he landed
mostly on Spike. 
  It didn't seem to discourage him at all; Spike just pulled him closer.

"What are you doing?" Xander asked, watching Graham unlock the door.

"I'm getting all the foreplay out of the way.  Once Riley goes on his
merry way, I'm going to have mine."  Spike slid his hands under Xander's
shirt and stroked his stomach.

Xander considered protesting, but Spike did have a good point.  In light
of all the interruptions, they really shouldn't waste any time.

Riley entered the apartment with a grin on his face.  "She talked to me!"

Graham shut the door behind him.  "Without kicking your ass?"

"No violence."  Riley slowed down as he caught sight of Xander and Spike. 
"Hi."

"So what happened?" Xander asked.  He smiled as Graham walked over and
joined them on the couch, leaning back heavily against him.  He accepted
Graham's weight and gleeful hoped that Spike got a little squished.  Just
because.

Riley stared at them, but continued with his story.  "She was surprised
and she wasn't happy to me, but she was willing to talk to me."  He paced
around the room as he spoke, punching his fist into his open palm.  "It
was weird talking to her after so long.  Weird, but good.  It was so good
to see her again.  She looks tired, but she still talked to me and she
wants to see me again."  He stopped in and drew in a deep breath.  "She
wants to see me again."

"Ri, that's great," Graham said.

Xander nodded.  "It is.  I'm happy for you.  I'm happy for her, too.  I
think you two can make this work."

Riley waved a finger in their direction.  "And, uh, how about you?"  He
stared at the way all of them were sitting on the couch.

Graham smiled.  "We're thinking that this is going to work out, too."

"And what is this?  If I can ask."

"This is me and Xander...and me and Spike."  Graham held up his hand to
stop Riley from speaking.  "I know, all right?  It's not something that I
ever imagined but it's making me happy."

"Graham, are they making you accept this?  Some sort of condition of being
with Xander?"

Xander started to sit up.  "I wouldn't do that!" he objected.

Graham soothed him with a caressing hand on his cheek, then turned back to
Riley.  "I wouldn't let that happen.  This is what I want.  Some of it's
just what I didn't want to admit to myself."

Riley stared hard at his friend.  "You're sure?"

"As I've ever been of anything."

Xander wrapped his arms around Graham's waist and nuzzled at the crook of
his heck and shoulder.  "Thank you," he murmured, feeling honored that
Graham was willing to stand up for them.

Riley nodded slowly.  "If you're sure and this will make you happy, then
I'm behind you.  Anything you need, right?"

"Same here, man."  Graham stared at him.  "You know that."

Riley smiled a little.  "So I guess I'll be heading home alone tonight,
then?"

Graham nodded.  "Yeah.  I'll catch up with you tomorrow."

Xander wriggled out from between Graham and Spike and followed Riley to
the door.  He met the blond man's gaze squarely.  "I won't hurt him," he
said quietly.

Riley flashed a crooked half-smile at him.  "I won't let you," he said
just as quietly.

Xander nodded his understanding and closed the door behind Riley.  He
turned around and found two avid blue gazes raking over him.  He leaned
back against the door, weakened by the emotions that swept through him.

Terror and hopelessness.  He couldn't do this.  What was he thinking? 
This was insane.  He was just going to end up hurting them and getting his
own heart torn out in the process.  He had to stop this, end it before it
turned bad.

"Luv?"  Spike stood up slowly.  "You're heart's going a mile a minute."

"Nothing," Xander said.  "Nothing.  I'm just tired all over again.  I'm
going to go back to bed and see you tomorrow, OK?"  He bolted for the
bedroom but he wasn't faster than Spike.

The vampire blocked the doorway and grabbed him by his upper arms.  "What
happened?"

"Nothing," Xander said, unable to meet his penetrating gaze.

Warm hands on his back startled him.  "It's not real, Xander."  Graham's
voice was soft in his ear.  "It's the Cynon, remember?"

"It feels real," Xander said uncertainly.  It was so strong.  Could it
really not be real?

Spike cradled his face in his hands.  "Xan, you need to calm down.  You
can't go back to bed.  You need to eat something first."

Graham's hands stroked up and down his arms.  "Sit back down on the couch.
 Eat.  Then go back to bed.  Give the fear some time to pass.  Give
yourself time to get control."

Xander closed his eyes.  He could remember deciding to trust them, could
remember how right that felt and wished that he could feel it again.  It
seemed very far away just then.  He nodded shakily.  "All right."  He
allowed himself to be lead back over the couch.

"We'll get you past this," Spike promised, sitting close to him while
Graham headed for the kitchen.  "It's going to get easier.  It's going to
get better."  He reached out and took Xander's hand, petting it.

Xander tried to focus on the sensation of Spike's gentle touch as a way to
keep the fear at bay and it worked.  He managed to stay on the couch long
enough for Graham to finish making sandwiches, managed to stay long enough
to eat.  After he was done the fear remained, but it was manageable. 
Barely.  He put his plate of the coffee table.  "Now what?"

"Now you go take shower," Graham said.

"And when you're done, you'll go back to bed with us holding you for the
rest of the night."  Spike stared at him seriously.  "I'm not going
anywhere, luv."

"Never leaving again," Graham added.

Xander summoned up a smile.  He still felt freaked out and half ready to
run, but he knew he didn't have to.  They had to love him if they were
putting up with him.

They had to love him if they were getting even more protective than
Willow. "Sounds like a plan," he said.  He got up and walked into the
bathroom.  A shower actually sounded very tempting and he was soon under
the hot spray, finally feeling clean for the first time in a long time. 
When he got out, Graham and Spike were waiting for him in the bedroom,
stripped down for sleeping.

"Sleep now?" he asked.  He laughed nervously.  "I guess I'm Cave Xander
tonight."

"So long as you're here," Graham said.

"This goes at the pace we all need," Spike added.  "Even if it is a
bleeding crawl."

"I can handle crawling," Graham agreed.

"Maybe I'll be up to walking tomorrow," Xander suggested.  He climbed into
bed, feeling incredibly awkward.  There was too much attention focused on
him.  It made him feel jumpy.  Of course if he jumped, the two men would
just jump with him and that would maybe wake up the neighbors and he
really was tired again and not ready for a fight.

And he was babbling in his head.  "I have to go to sleep now."

Spike spooned up close behind him, while Graham wormed his way half-under
him.  Gentle kisses pressed his eyes closed as careful hands soothed away
the lingering tension in his frame.  He felt too wound up to really sleep,
feared that he would just lay there all night, wound up tight.  The kisses
and the hands slowly worked an elemental magic on him, lulling away the
fear and worry.  Surrounded by comfort and love, he fell asleep.

*****